Stories by Sri Chinmoy's students and friends
Banshidhar Medeiros • San Juan, Puerto Rico

'No matter what happens, I will always, always, always be with you.'


Banshidar is describing his experiences during his 3,000 mile run across America.

Throughout the run, a few different times, Guru wanted to speak with me. This was before there were computers or even cell phones. We would make arrangements: I'd be at a place where we could speak on the phone.

Very early on, maybe after a few weeks, I had some injuries, which is normal, and it was very challenging.

In one of these telephone conversations with Guru, he said something that he essentially says to all of our souls, every single disciple. In that conversation, Guru said, “No matter what happens, I will always, always, always be with you.”

That completely put me into another place. No matter what happened, no matter how much pain, no matter what came and went, I was totally happy and felt absolutely safe and protected in Guru’s grace.

At the end of every day, I was completely exhausted and hurting. The disciple who was with me would do the cooking and he'd massage me. He was like an angel, a saint and a good buddy. Every morning when I woke up, it was like a miracle. No matter how exhausted I was the day before, Guru’s force and Guru’s grace made it possible for me to start over anew. I’d step out of the camper in the darkness of the morning and no matter what the weather was, raining, snowing or whatever, I would go and do the miles. I had an incredible adventure every single day.

Because of the intensity of the daily focus on this journey my attitude was very meditative. When you're doing these kinds of things, your mind goes into another place. Actually, the mind doesn't work too much. You're just completely present and immersed in your inner world.

There were so many wonderful experiences on this journey. One of them sticks in my mind as clear today as it was then. After about a month on the journey, running late in the afternoon, the sun was setting behind me. I had already run 25 miles or so and I was feeling pretty good, with a good pace. Because I was running east up a hill with the sun behind me and low on the horizon, my shadow was in front of me. I was looking at my shadow and I had this very special experience.

As I was running up this hill, I became aware of the distinct experience that I was riding my vital horse. The energy, my life energy was like a horse, and I had the reins of the horse firmly gripped in my hands. It was like galloping. It was such an incredible experience. For the first time in my life, I felt that my vital energy, my life energy was completely in my control. I'll never forget that. I could feel Guru smiling and his presence creating this experience.

With the dynamism of your vital
And the self-giving qualities
Of your heart,
You can inspire humanity.

Sri Chinmoy 1

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